My Heart Is Full

We’re 100 days in and Covid-19 has proved that not only can we survive, but we can thrive on less.

This is not great for an economy built on materialism, pushing mass consumption of things we don’t really need but ‘have to have’. I can’t change that, but I’m encouraged by some of the indicators that signal the birth of a new order of minimalism, sustainability and universal connection. The millennials have been onto this all along.  

My 6-year-old is due back at school on Monday 6th July – it also happens to be Flo’s birthday which she shares with her daughter-in-law – and I’m feeling slightly out of sorts. Could be the chronic headaches which have taken a turn for the worse. I can’t exactly put my finger on it.

It’s less about going to school and more about this ‘sacred’ family time coming to an end.

Here’s the kicker, after months and months of wanting these kids to be back at school, and it’s finally here, I’m feeling a sense of loss. It’s less about going to school and more about this ‘sacred’ family time coming to an end.

If it’s not making sense, I’m just as confused. Having everyone confined to home for so long can only be described as a peculiar out-of-body experience. And now I am sad that it will not be the same anymore; the four of us won’t be together, day in and day out.

Perhaps I am experiencing a form of Stockholm Syndrome where I’ve developed an emotional bond with my captor aka Coronavirus, have ‘warmed up’ to the house-arrest and don’t want to leave even though the door has been unlocked.

“I’m going to be shy. It will be like first day at school”.

In one of our conversations around his return to school, Master T articulated his emotion so poignantly. “I’m going to be shy. It will be like first day at school”. Oh, Sweetheart. For someone so young, barely into their school career (he’s in Grade 1), it will be like the first day at school. Perhaps an even more intimidating version.

As we move into our next normal, there are going to be many of these experiences that leave us confused and even bereft. I fully appreciate the family memories we’ve created. It’s been a frustrating and exhausting time. But it has been equally rewarding and special.

Countless simple, endearing moments. None posted on social media or Whatsapp. All locked in my head and heart.   

My family is my everything. My heart is full today. I’m sending love and positivity your way.

Namaste.

3 Comments

  1. On a personal note, this time has allowed me to question the belief system that has not been serving me. In addition, who I want to be the “second act”of my life and how I to live. It’s been sobering experience and well needed.

  2. robyn@thekiso.co.za

    Beautiful! Thank you for sharing xxx

  3. I could not refrain from commenting. Exceptionally well written! Marti Alfons Wenz

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.