I’m secure in the realisation that the Universe is a dichotomy of opposites; about balancing extreme emotions, situations, life circumstances, everything. There’s no good without bad, no day without night, no sun without the moon. The further we stray to one end of the spectrum, the view we want to see or experience, the scales will tip with equal opposing force to bring balance.

 

As I child, I would often hear my mom, and other adults around me, say something along these lines when children were running around, playing hysterically, “You’re laughing so much now, soon someone will be crying”.

 

It was usually said in an attempt to stop the noise, hysteria, and to calm things down. It was like magic. At some point, someone would fall, or something would happen to make someone cry proving them right.

 

Our ancestors were tapping into a principle that they did not quite understand. Actually, two principles. One is the power of the spoken word and thoughts. The other is universal equilibrium.

 

This is what bipolar is. Intense highs are followed by intense lows.

 

Don’t believe me? Observe the next time you’re hysterically happy. It’s going to be followed by a low of equal intensity to your high. This is what bipolar is. Intense highs are followed by intense lows. All the time. Zero balance.

 

The ‘switch’ can happen within hours, days, weeks, or even years. I suspect it’s the premise of the marital seven-year itch since there’s no happily ever after. It’s just life. This is how COVID-19 has been an intense blessing. Some have missed it.

 

Ever since I became aware of this phenomenon, not allowing myself to get ‘lost’ in the highs, knowing that they will not last, and trying to maintain some level of calm, it’s gone a long way to even out the dips. I’m still vulnerable to indoctrinated reactions but I’m able to come back to the centre sooner.

 

We’ve all heard that opposites attract. Sure. Do we truly understand why?

 

Today I want to explore the balancing required in relationships. We’ve all heard that opposites attract. Sure. Do we truly understand why? It’s deeper than the superficial carnal attraction that society focuses on.

 

The struggling artist is always attracted to the upwardly mobile temptress. He’s never able to satisfy her immediate material needs. Daddy’s princess who finds her prince but he’s more of a pauper and so can’t give her the lifestyle she’s accustomed to. He lives in Daddy’s shadow.

 

We’re inherently wired for continuous learning. Even when we resist it – consciously or unconsciously – the Universe is going to continue to send us lessons until we get them. I was spinning in a vicious cycle of relationship lessons for most of my youth, up until my late 30s.

 

I encountered the same iteration of a commitment-phobe time and time again as I was oblivious to my own wounded heart and couldn’t recognise what I really wanted or more importantly, needed to heal.

 

When I first met Mr. T, the main attraction was his approach. He saw me as a human being and not a piece of meat. I didn’t sense any ulterior motive, even though there could have been one. He was not on the chase. It worked. I let my guard down and engaged with him as an equal, a friend, with no expectations. Thirteen years later, it’s a story for the history books.

 

You’re bewitched. No! It’s just the law of attraction.

 

What I learned from that experience is that our energy is a far more powerful, highly evolved magnet than what we think we want. You think you want commitment, but your self-worth is in tatters. You can’t love yourself but are desperate for someone to love you. The Universe is obedient. It responds by sending you unlovable things. You’re bewitched. No! It’s just the law of attraction.

 

This is the energy that determines our growth. Think of it as a gift wrapped as learning to be unfolded and realised once we’re willing to surrender to the teaching. Over the span of a lifetime, these teachings are relatively universal, but the ‘packaging’ is different and unique for each of us.

 

You’re never going to be ‘winning’ at all aspects of life at the same time. We must release this expectation. That’s what pushes our stress and anxiety through the roof. This is what makes us feel less than, not enough. We inadvertently feed the same anxiety to our children.

 

We need to make peace with our priorities. What we feed grows; what we starve, dies. You focus on your career/business, that’s what will take your energy and time.

 

We come together, not as one (how I despise this description of marriage) but to evolve, to get our lessons.

 

Our personal relationships, especially the romantic ones, are some of our greatest teachers. We come together, not as one (how I despise this description of marriage) but to evolve, to get our lessons. If you haven’t met your person, it simply means that you haven’t accepted all your lessons at that particular point. And that can change in an instant.

 

There’s no positive without negative, no good without bad, and so on. Things just are.

 

This is where the yin-yang comes into play. It’s the ancient Chinese philosophy purporting that opposite forces are interconnected and counterbalancing. There’s no positive without negative, no good without bad, and so on. Things just are.

 

How are you going to get lessons from your partner if you’re the same? There’s another romanticised myth. You must like the same things, do everything together, and complete each other’s sentences. Romcoms have really messed us up.

 

My old-soul 8-year-old is interested in China and its culture, so he’d come across the yin-yang symbols somewhere. I only realised it at the school fun day earlier this year when he recognised them on the jewelry stand. He didn’t know what they were, he just called it a “China thing”, was very excited and I had to buy them the pendants. The complementing side for each.

 

When I explained the concept of equal forces creating balance, the whole, and used them as brothers as an example, they loved it. M got it immediately and took it to another level, adding that he was born at night and KG during the day. This is true.

 

Dear heart, life is a messy cocktail of moments that make us laugh, cry, rejoice, mourn. We fall, we get up. We run, we rest. We try, we win. We try, we lose. Give up the expectation of a one-sided experience. That’s half of life.