There’s a familiar cycle in the lives of celebrity and influencer couples. It starts with the courtship.  Sure, regular people do this too, but I’m talking about those who shape our already-warped perceptions of relationships and marriage.

 

We get all the details a.k.a. photos and videos of the romance from the fancy dinners and getaways to the lavish gifts, what’s commonly referred to as “love bombing”: the overt showers of love and attention. Oh, it looks amazing. It’s absolutely fabulous. We all secretly have that ping in the heart. “Why doesn’t my partner do that?” or “I wish I had a partner who would do that”. Big sigh.

 

The romance rollout

 

Then, if it lasts beyond a few months or years, they love to talk about “how they make it work”.  Those special things they do. Apparently, regular sex is it. “You must please”. Yes, become a people pleaser. They usually get into lucrative sponsorships and deals because they look so good together. Everyone wants to be like them.

 

So, there’s a balance sheet to maintain. The cycle continues. While they’re making money, we get front-row seats to their lives. At least the curated parts.

 

And then, boom. There are corresponding “we are parting” notices on socials and the request for “privacy”. Man, this gets me. For obvious reasons. It doesn’t end there. At some point, one or both parties start with the “clap backs”. The “this is what you did to me” without saying so. The inferences. We’re left assuming.  Did he or she?

 

The aftermath

 

We’re now love-bombed with the “empowering” posts. The “I got my life back” stories, which I always support, are usually the sentiment from the women. The male version I was recently exposed to was a short clip of an interview the said ex posted just days after the split where he mentioned that he was married to an alcoholic. We’re left thinking is it the person you left a few days ago or someone from a previous life. In this same situation, she posted around this time “Just because someone meditates doesn’t mean they won’t slap the s%T out of you”. Ok.

 

Now, I know better than to be in other people’s business. But you ‘lured’ me into your space and I actually quite liked you as a couple. So, where to from here?

 

Keep private things private

 

We operate in a society that for millennia was shrouded in secrecy and now we have the platforms and reason to be free and open – I subscribe to freedom of expression and tolerance for differing views and so on – but what happened to sacred spaces? Sacred truth. Sacred trust. Those intimate places where the mere fact that something is only shared between two people is, in itself, special.

 

Dear heart, please keep the intricate details of your relationship to yourself, especially the highs. Cherish the sacred bond if you’re lucky enough to have it. It’s tempting to share every beautiful moment, but there’s real power in keeping some things just for you and your partner. That way, when the chapter closes, there’s no digital mess to clean up, no public fallout to manage – and, most importantly, no need to clap back. It tends to feel lame.