I want my kids to know that it’s ok to change your mind. How are we going to change the world when we’re stuck in antiquated, parochial thought patterns when we don’t question? This doesn’t create an environment for evolution and change, the very purpose of the journey.

 

Change is also the basis of hope. We pray and live in hope that circumstances can change, so why can’t I change my mind?

 

I often have some variation of this conversation with my kids: “Mom, you need to promise that you will do ABC”. My response is along this, “I will do my best to keep that promise, but if things change, I may not be able to”.  

 

Human beings have an innate negative bias, a stigma from our prehistoric ancestors who required it for survival. Today, we do not experience the same level of physical threat – though some could make a valid case against this in South Africa and many parts of the world experiencing conflict and violence – but we live with extremely high levels of psychological trauma.

 

So many businesses are based on fear. All forms of insurance and financial sectors are the main culprits.

 

This feeds into our underlying fear of change. We fear the unknown and, in many instances, resist it at all costs. We’re always looking for some ‘guarantee’ on life. There are none. So many businesses are based on fear. All forms of insurance and financial sectors are the main culprits. Who loves paying their car insurance or medical aid?

 

Anyway, I’ve changed my mind. On a lot of things. In a short space of time. Lockdown and the health pandemic was the incubator for this fast-tracking. If I was a start-up, I’d be on the rise, ripe and ready for investors.  

 

My Spirit does not require any harnessing or filtering.

 

If I haven’t been clear, let me state it here so that there’s no flip-flopping around this once I transition. I have no desire to be entrapped in the confines of organised religion. My Spirit does not require any harnessing or filtering.  It’s been oppressed and constrained for most of my human existence and I’m on a path to set it free.

 

Having said this, the power of religious indoctrination runs so deep that I often find myself reverting to certain sayings or practices without even thinking. Then I catch myself. It’s a process. Do you know how long it’s taken me to be comfortable with offering a simple ‘thank you’ or whatever is in my heart before I enjoy a meal in lieu of the obligatory “grace”?

 

When the kids were much younger, we would get them to say “Thank you, Jesus, for the food. Amen” before eating. This was supposedly a simple precursor to the “grace” that they would learn as they got older or at Catholic school and catechism. But it was never meant to be. Even today, if their dad is around when they’re eating, he’ll ask if they’ve prayed – invariably they’ve forgotten – and then you hear them rattle off those words. I’m happy if they’ve uttered any form of thanks.

 

This makes me think of my late father-in-law and one of our early family gatherings. It was the first time that we had hosted him and Mama for lunch, and I cooked what was then my famous Thai green curry. I was trying to impress, so I made a few dishes, but can’t remember all.

 

This was an iteration of his prayer that I would become accustomed to over time at family gatherings and grew to love.

 

What I do remember is the prayer that Mr. T Senior offered before we ate which included a variation of “Bless this food, may it not cause us any harm, may it nourish our bodies…”. This was an iteration of his prayer that I would become accustomed to over time at family gatherings and grew to love. It’s something I now say and always think fondly of him when I do.

 

But back then, I was surprised by this “may it not cause us any harm” and silently wondered if he was praying that my Thai curry would not ‘harm’ his wife who cannot handle spicy food. Not a good way to impress potential in-laws.

 

Thankfully, Mama steered clear of the curry, and I was welcomed into the family with open arms. They had, after all, been praying for a wife for their eldest son for many years. And just like that, change had arrived. In a few months, there was a new makoti in the house.

 

Yeah, I’ve changed my mind on a lot of things. And a lot has changed in my life. As I continue to discover new ways of being, I will change more. That’s my hope. Dear hearts, my wish is that you keep moving forward. Don’t get stuck in any previous pattern or position that’s no longer serving you.  It’s ok to change your mind. It’s actually liberating!