If the families we see when brands are trying to sell us something are anything to go by, they’re this loving, nurturing unit that’s there for us through thick and thin. They’re always happy, laughing, and it’s everything wholesome and aspirational. They make parenting look so sublime.  The joke is on us.  

 

Some of us move through life with the family we were born into. I like some of them; I love others and enjoy spending time with them. I have limited interaction with some for a wide range of reasons. I found new ones in marriage with the same sentiment. And then there are the friends who become family. The bonds that we make along the way.

 

Family vs familiar

 

What is family? If we understand that we’re souls having a human experience, then DNA is a mortal construct to enable our earthly journey. That frees me to believe that, as our souls intertwine over lifetimes, the connections we make with those outside our genetic makeup can be even stronger than familial bonds.

 

Then let’s look at Christianity as it’s the dogma I’ve had the most personal experience with. The biggest lesson that Jesus came to teach was Love. It’s the central premise of most organised religions as they derive their genesis from ancient spiritual teachings of Oneness. This message of Love and Oneness has been warped through translation over centuries. At best, it’s “We should love our neighbours, but let’s try to convert them to [insert religious persuasion] so that they can be cleansed to reach the kingdom of heaven.” At worst, it’s “Let’s kill them, and take their resources, they’re not worthy”.

 

Heaven above the clouds

 

“The kingdom of heaven” brings another conundrum. As a child, it never really made sense. Where is this place? Is it above the clouds? I grew up with the legend about the pearly gates on white clouds and St Peter, I think, standing at the entrance with a long judgment list of all one’s earthly failings to check if one has been ‘good enough’ to enter. Is that still a common belief? Then one gets on an airplane and ascends above the clouds and discovers there’s nothing but beautiful, blue skies.

 

Fortunately, my kids have not been bamboozled that far, but they’ve asked about heaven a few times as on some occasions, they’ve heard their schoolmates talk about it. They too, find it confusing. Young souls are still pure of heart, so when something doesn’t resonate with their spirit, it should be like a thunderbolt from the proverbial heavens for us to stop and question as well.  But we don’t. We usually impart the rules of the matrix that were fed to us – no inquiry – and continue along.

 

Heaven on earth

 

And the subject of heaven can’t come up without the corresponding hell—that red-hot place managed by the horned fallen angel with a trident, eager to welcome most of us sinners. We’re so focused on the afterlife and creating rules and laws for people to be ‘good’ in this life, to live better in the next, that we’ve created scare tactics that we wilfully dish out to our children.

 

I’ll share one that scarred me in my early years. Fortunately, it didn’t come from my parents, I got this at school. Somewhere between the classroom and the playground. I must have been around 6, 7, or 8 years old when I was confronted with the Christian teaching that the sequence of numbers, 666, is an evil link to Satan, something about indicating the end of the world. It really tortured me; it was such a dark thing to hear as a young spirit. This tactic of fear into submission is a common theme throughout the bible. Do this, or else. Don’t do this and be damned.

 

How’s that carrot-and-stick approach working out? Dismally. The majority of people go through life miserable, unhappy, highly anxious and stressed. Doing all the ‘right’ things. Going to church, tithing, educated, working, sending children to school, taking holidays, living in the suburbs, fabulous life on the socials, ticking all the boxes. But things aren’t going well. It’s confusing as heck. Downright traumatic. Isn’t that hell?

 

The beauty of reframing

 

To close my childhood trauma of the devil and 666, how refreshing to come to a new understanding of numerology later. Known as angel numbers, if you come across a sequence of 666 in your daily activity, it’s a divine reminder to ‘seek comfort, reframe negative thoughts, and treat yourself with kindness.’ Beautiful. Now that’s the affirmation I appreciate.

 

The biggest trauma we experience is in the mind. Here and now. We’re the smartest iteration of human evolution, we live the most comfortable lives in all of history, and yet we’re the most miserable. Our minds, through the barrage of external influences that come at us daily, have hijacked our bodies.

 

Our evolution has created so much overwhelm for us. Life is really simple. Not easy, just simple. As Lao Tzu said, ‘The more you know, the less you understand”. Oh, the journey of unlearning is brutal, never-ending, yet wonderfully liberating.

 

Dear hearts, free your mind. Your body will follow.