None of the so-called ‘learnings’ from my childhood – whether from school, church, or the community I grew up in – make sense to me now. Flo, however, was ahead of her time, and some of what she did and said still resonates today. But beyond that? Nothing.

 

I firmly believe that one of Flo’s biggest stressors was the fact that she herself didn’t resonate with the world she was confronted with. With her limited exposure, she didn’t have avenues to deal with them. Her conflict and anxiety resulted in her death, which we point to colon cancer. We now understand that all disease is a result of our dis-ease with life.

 

A diet of limiting beliefs

 

Gen-Xers, do you realise that we were literally ‘spoon-fed’ a series of limiting beliefs? All those idioms and metaphors some of us still recite today are extremely limiting! They spill out of our mouths, unfiltered. Don’t believe me? Here are a few examples you know: “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” “So and so is filthy rich.” “Good girls go nowhere; bad girls go everywhere.” “Boys don’t cry.”

 

Should I go on? Oh, just one more, “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” That was always on the classroom wall, very large. Where did that come from? Why didn’t they just say, “Wash your hands so you don’t transfer germs to others and make us sick”? Children are meant to be dirty! They’re messy little people exploring their world through play and discovery. No, they had to be dramatic to ‘terrorise’ us into submission with the guilt of God weighing down on us from a young age. By the way, “God fearing” is another phrase that will never make sense to me.

 

Useless sayings and words of ‘wisdom’

 

And if I’ve blown your mind and you’re still confused, how about this one, “Hard work pays off”? It’s still mainstream. How’s that one working for you? I can’t take full credit for this comment, and can’t remember where I heard it either – thanks to the wonderful world of the internet – but if hard work paid off, every Black and Brown woman on the planet would be a millionaire!

 

Here we are, spooling around in a sea of ‘useless’ sayings that make us feel smart and words of ‘wisdom’ that not only get us nowhere but are downright damaging. Why? They’ve seeped into our psyche so deeply that we struggle to accurately locate the source of our discontent and unfulfillment. I know you feel that.

 

What’s behind your anxiety and dis-ease? Why does life feel so hard? And when did you start believing that you have to do it alone? A life coach is an accountability partner to help you find your inner light and power. Dear heart, get the help you need. There’s no award for dying young or living with chronic illness. Really.