There’s a recurring discussion – some would call it an issue – that pops up in our household. It’s around the two dogs that my housemates overruled me on and welcomed into our family. It started with “We want a dog”, which both adults in the house were able to resist. We were in unison for a few years. You see, we’d had two dogs previously – when the kids were toddlers – and knew what the commitment entailed. Ok, let me speak for myself.

 

As the kids grew, it turned into “We need dogs”, one for each child and company for each other. I noticed that I had lost my voting partner. It was one against three. I’m proud of myself though. I held on, stood my ground for a while. I got all the good ‘reasons’ for having pets. Teaching responsibility, keep the kids outdoors, blah blah blah. I guess our lives seemed too settled, calm and comfortable. Just how I like it. But it’s clearly not for everyone.

 

I knew that my emotional capacity for two other beings, babies, was near empty. I’ve been open about not being a good mother to babies and younger kids. Hey, I was in the thick of hormonal transitioning – and now we all know how much chaos that brings – and those scars still run deep for me. I finally felt that my life was getting back to ‘normal’.  So, new babies. Two. No!

 

The arrival of the mutt muffins

 

In October 2024, I got the final verdict, “We’re getting two dogs”. In the spirit of acceptance and peace, I relented and gave way with the understanding that my people understood the assignment. After all, there was one adult – with previous experience – and two tweens who can feed, shower, and poop themselves. One dog each is manageable, right?

 

I must admit that I got in on the puppy excitement. Perhaps this was the moment of responsibility for the kids. I took them after school to spend some time with the fur babies before we brought them home. This was going to go well. I was calling it in.

 

We’re seven months in, and my people took on more than they could chew. Pun intended. As beautiful as they are, these cutesy tail waggers have upended our lives in ways that, even I, could not have imagined. As for getting the kids to be responsible fur parents, that’s like house-training – slow, messy, many accidents, and countless reminders.

 

Teachable moments are priceless

 

But all is not lost in this tail of two pooches. What kind of parent would I be without using this as an ongoing teachable moment? It’s yielded some results. The fruit of my womb has conceded; they didn’t really get the assignment. They were in on the vibes. And in a rare, but very welcome recent moment, I was surprised with a beautiful card and gift – “Mom Appreciation Day” – I even got a “sorry for the dogs in the morning”. Apparently, I’m the only person in our home who hears them bark.

 

This got me thinking about life and our personal assignments. How many of us take advice from someone who’s “been there”? As a young person, I didn’t. A million mistakes later, I’ve become this evolving human because of all of it. I wouldn’t change a thing, and I couldn’t change a thing.  So, what is the value of understanding the assignment?

 

Do we even need to understand the assignment?

 

We’re all on a unique journey. Our experiences, once we get the lessons, give us the confidence to move on. But here’s the thing. Many of us get stuck. We don’t actually move forward. There’s so much pain, poverty, and general pettiness in the world. It’s everywhere – almost endemic. Unhappiness is our resting place and it’s not pretty. But there’s another way to do this.

 

So, what’s the assignment? Life was never meant to be either-or; it’s a divine mix of flames and flowers. We need the challenges and chaos to shape us, help us grow, and move us forward. We need the beauty and magical moments to appreciate all of life’s wonder.  It’s about understanding balance – knowing when to push through, and when to be still.

 

The highs and lows never stay. What stays? The present moment. That’s all there is. As for me? I remain outvoted, still hearing the barking, but learning that the assignment for this one is learning to love through the mess.

 

Photo credit: robynwrites