Language use is an important part of our evolution. As a word nerd, this is my jam. While chatting with two millennials recently, I used the term “friends with benefits” in reference to a situation – the specifics aren’t important. And as it came out of my mouth, I realised that was something we used in our heyday so felt obliged to confirm if it was still used. The response was “yes, but we also use situationship”.

 

It reminded me of the generational use of words and the annual “Word of the Year” published by major dictionaries – a clever way, I suppose, to stay culturally relevant. It’s also a good gauge of the global sentiment as they are gleaned from dictionary searches. I went back to check the 2024 Word of the Year which is different for each institution as the 2025 words are only announced towards the end of the year.

 

Words that made the list in 2024

 

For Oxford, “brain rot” is the current reigning word which “refers to the feeling of mental decay from consuming too much trivial digital content”. Merriam‑Webster’s Word of the Year is “polarization”, chosen based on surging lookup data amidst heightened political and cultural divides”. Collins Dictionary’s 2024 word is “brat, shaped by Gen Z culture and Charli XCX’s album trends” and Cambridge Dictionary selected “manifest” as its 2024 Word of the Year as it “exploded during the pandemic and gained mainstream traction throughout 2024 – especially on TikTok, where the #manifest hashtag went viral”.

 

Together, these selections sketch a poignant portrait of our current state. We’re plugged into our devices, consuming faster than we can process. We live in curated digital bubbles, absorbing trends like air, each one influencing how we show up, connect, and belong. And in all of this, we’re trying to will our way into clarity – scripting futures through hashtags and hope. Emphasis on trying.

 

My personal word for 2025

 

So, as a self-professed sentence stylist, I think it’s fitting that I offer my choice for the 2025 selection: High maintenance.  

 

It wasn’t until Covid – those years from 2020 onward – that I realised just how ‘low maintenance’ my personal image routines had been. To be honest, Covid stole my youthful glaze – and suddenly, it felt like I needed to do something. Up until that point, my hair was wash-and-go – a trim when needed, a blow-dry now and then. I didn’t do my nails, didn’t do my lashes, wasn’t big on makeup, or any other mainstay beauty tricks.

 

Yes, I did regular facials – Flo introduced me to my skin routine and I’m forever thankful – exercised, did fairly healthy stuff, enjoyed dressing up, and so on. The basics, that was it. The brief to my wedding makeup artist in 2010 was “keep it natural please”. That was only the second time in my life that I had done makeup professionally and the first time with stick on lashes that I couldn’t wait to remove at night after the celebrations.

 

Beauty at all costs

 

When I looked back at both my maternity shoot photos recently, I laughed out loud. There was no visible trace of makeup – my eyebrows had ghosted me – even though I must have had some blotting powder, I could see some lipstick. I’ve seen women pose for photos after birth, in the delivery theatre – the newborn on the chest still full of the bodily mucus and blood – with full blown makeup, curtain fringe lashes and all. I have so many questions, but not for today.

 

I confess. I went down the rabbit hole of getting nails done, eye lashes, hair colour and so on from the early post-pandemic years. It made me feel better. For a while. But then there was an unsettling feeling that started to creep in. Each time I had to make a booking to redo something – because once things start to grow out or fall off, it’s not pretty, it’s annoying – I felt a mini disconnect. I couldn’t quite articulate it – on one hand, I enjoyed the pampering and the after looks, but on the other, my subconscious was quietly rebelling.

 

And what happens when we ignore our subconscious? It gets louder and louder. I came into 2025 knowing that it would be a year of change. I just didn’t expect the cavernous deep-sea diving that I would do into the depths of my soul.

 

Weaponising maintenance

 

The other important thing to mention is that ‘high maintenance’ has been weaponised against women. It’s shorthand for being demanding, difficult, or dependent. A woman who wants to be cared for? High maintenance. One who sets boundaries or expects quality? High maintenance. It’s a label that reduces complexity to inconvenience – a way to shame women for having standards, preferences, or needs.

 

So, I’m stepping away from the cycle of external upkeep – the appointments, the touch-ups, the constant tending to appearances. Not because this is wrong, but because it started to feel performative, disconnected from who I am becoming. And not forgetting that I can change my mind at any time. Because, in the words of a multi-million-dollar beauty brand, I’m worth it.

 

For now, my focus is on maintaining something else: my peace, my boundaries, my clarity, the light that shines from within. I want to tend to my nervous system, not just my nails. This is the kind of maintenance that doesn’t fade, chip, grow out or fall out. It deepens. It roots. It restores.

 

This is my new high maintenance – not a burden, but a devotion. A conscious tending to what truly matters. Dear heart, here’s to the rituals that restore, not exhaust – the ones that nourish your inner world with peace and harmony. True harmony.

 

Sorry that there’s no public holiday this Women’s Day. It’s a call to honour ourselves every day.